No 11. (Part 2) "Buy one be done" manifesto & the burden of choice
I have more thoughts cause Allison Bornstein inspired me too.
As a writer, i’m a pantser, not a plotter. I write by the seat of my pants and trust when something comes up and I feel a kick in my stomach to write. Today, that happened in my Sunday scroll when an old Allison Bornstein post from April 26th popped up. It was a moment of synchronicity and a little message that we’re not done talking about the idea of “buy one and be done.”
She shared a story about working with a client on “consistency vs repetition” to articulate the feelings of when we feel bored in our closet and when we are buying the same things over and over again. In this case, she talks about a client who even if they’re not picking the exact same item (so say they have 3 different kinds of denim shirts) the outfit always feels the same - its got what she calls the “same use case.”
Immediately, I knew we had to talk because this has been something I’ve been thinking about a lot this past week: the relief in selecting your buy one be done clothing essentials vs craving a uniform but also wanting to feel creative and fresh in our closets.
So many wonderful creators and writers on this platform and others have either been personally styled by Allison Bornstein or have gone through her closet edit or been inspired by her thoughtful content on tiktok and instagram and many of them have a really interesting shared experience - where she asks really great questions to find out not what needs to be added, but what needs to be expressed.
Cue “I’m just a girl standing in front of a *closet* just asking it to *see* her.”
It’s like we’re trying to speak through a mound of clothes and things in our homes. The energy of “buy one and be done” is not that its about being an extreme minimalist, but it’s about quieting the noise so that we can clearly let our voice shine through in our home, wardrobe, life, and creativity.
In this video, she says my favorite buzzword “decision paralysis” to describe when we have a few of the same item (ie. chunky white sweater) as how when we have more than one of the same type of thing then we are adding another choice in our life of when we wear one over the other.
If you’ve ever done the Marie Kondo method, you know the shock you come to when you find that you end up having 5 black tank tops or in my case previously 4 different black turtlenecks. It feels overwhelming.
Bornstein is a stylist and orients avoiding this kind of decision paralysis when getting dressed towards what pieces can you add to your wardrobe that give you something new. And when you’re looking for something new to understand what it is about your favorite items that you’re really loving.
An example of my own life is when I bought this very cool cropped white neoprene dressy jacket from Diane Von Furstenburg in Singapore. I’ve had this piece for about 8 years now and it’s a cherished possession. But what I really love about it is the incredible drapey yet architectural sleeves and the crop. It’s a statement. I don’t need to go get another jacket like this in black. But, I know that I love a good sculptural drape so if I were to add another piece to my closet I can look for jackets inspired by this love of structure.
One person in the comments to Bornstein’s video said “it’s frustrating because the same styles just keep being available. So few options at mainstream stores.” And I think that is brilliant! We should be bored by what’s in mainstream stores and freed from the need to constantly get more for our own mental peace. We’re then challenged to explore smaller brands that can have more ethical practices or look into second hand and vintage pieces online and in thrift stores.
This is rule #1 of the buy one & be done manifesto: “Intention & curation is the fun part.”
Have you walked down the aisles of a TJ Max or Marshalls lately? I did two weeks ago and I felt absolutely no fomo because it wasn’t adding something new. The fabric quality was terrible and I saw a linen button down that was in a nice shade of blue. But I already have a light modal blue button down that does the same thing that I love so much. I won’t be able to replace it with that exact same shirt if it is ruined because it’s not made by the company anymore - but that’s okay. (Also it’s a pregnancy & post partum shirt I bought from a company called Storq when I was training as a postpartum doula and its insanely soft).
Just like #9 on the manifesto list “If it’s discontinued, it’s okay - an opportunity to find something new to make memories in.”
Bornstein’s lens is about how personal style is about consistency of value and preferences whereas repeat buying leads to the feeling of repetition.
Leading us to #10 Move onto the creative! If we choose our favorite in each category then we create space for the next thing you might add to be one that is an expression of you and not a burden of choice.
For example, I own bowls. I’m lucky that my mother is an extremely talented ceramicist and I get to shop her studio. But, I own one matcha bowl and I’m a big matcha fan. For two years, I left my coffee habit and turned to matcha. It’s a special piece that I picked up from another ceramicist on my first trip to Japan. It’s not a possible repeatable purchase, like many of our buy one’s like the Saint James shirt I shared last week or a reusable water bottle, but it is still a buy one and be done. I don’t need to burden my mornings when I want to make a matcha with a decision of 4 different matcha bowls. My Big Brain needs energy for other things later in the day.
The same goes for so many different things - if you buy the same bag in 4 different colors cause you love it and needed a red one to match the red in your closet that was an opportunity lost to add a different “use case” per Bornstein’s words.
I think that paring down is really an opportunity for opening up.
For those of us that love to shop, we get an extra creative challenge to expand how we express ourselves. For those of us that hate shopping and want to limit decisions cause we love repetition, then we know when to stop repetitive purchases that aren’t going to do what your favorite shirt at home is already doing.
So I’ll leave you with my new marching orders for myself:
Choose your favorite in each category and create space for the next addition to be an expression of you, not a burden of choice.
Xx Bailey
“Intention & curation is the fun part.” - yessssss!
Fully appreciate this and need to do it more!! I struggle to focus on finding one thing I love and keep as there’s tooo many choices but I know this would be a great idea to also focus on things that bring me joy and can appreciate daily !